"Miss Martha, you are so weird!" "I know . . . isn't it wonderful!?"

I’m lying in bed, “watching” Chopped on the Food Network, and trying not to poop my pants.  My stomach is rumbling . . . churning, really.


It’s weird.  I can feel the rumbles against my computer, rolling from my left to right, now down.  Left to right.  Left to right.  Gurgle gurgle churn churn roil roil.


I hope I can go to work tomorrow.  Do I count as a staff body, if I spend the day in the bathroom?  If it’s the staff bathroom, does the count?  Should I sit in the public one, so people can come in to ask reference questions?  Should I use the children’s bathroom, so I can hear the kids, and shush them accordingly?


Now my husband has come in to pet one of the dogs who joined me . . . his shaking her gently is making my stomach rumble in time with the dog.   She jumped off the bed.  Now I hear her barfing in the hall.


It’s gonna be a loooooooooooong night.


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