I’m lying in bed, “watching” Chopped on the Food Network, and trying not to poop my pants. My stomach is rumbling . . . churning, really.
It’s weird. I can feel the rumbles against my computer, rolling from my left to right, now down. Left to right. Left to right. Gurgle gurgle churn churn roil roil.
I hope I can go to work tomorrow. Do I count as a staff body, if I spend the day in the bathroom? If it’s the staff bathroom, does the count? Should I sit in the public one, so people can come in to ask reference questions? Should I use the children’s bathroom, so I can hear the kids, and shush them accordingly?
Now my husband has come in to pet one of the dogs who joined me . . . his shaking her gently is making my stomach rumble in time with the dog. She jumped off the bed. Now I hear her barfing in the hall.
It’s gonna be a loooooooooooong night.